4 Ways I've Been Working on Happiness
I woke up early, doing my best to keep to a rigid 30 minutes to get ready. I was close. 7:02. Yet I realized the irony of trying to map out a morning so on que. Writing this piece while editing this week’s podcast, only to join my Social Psychology course by 9. When I saw that Dr. Emma Seppala, a researcher I’ve long respected for her work in psychology, well-being, and happiness, had published a new article in Time, I quickly went to get a copy for myself.
The cover page, before you even begin the first paragraph, uses the word “race.” Much like my morning, (though I did my best to move intentionally as I’ve learned in the article) we are always racing. Often, it seems the thought of whatever it is that we are racing for will make us happier. “If I just publish 2 articles this week, “things” will be good.” What things I ask myself? I can make a pretty good argument to you right now why I think my days must be efficiently planned to fit it all in, all of the things that will lead to a great life and ultimately my happiness. But for now, I’ll leave it with “it just will.”
In fact, it’s this race that I’m talking about that Dr. Seppala has found inhibits us from ever fully experiencing why we are racing in the first place: happiness. When we’ve already moved on to the next item on our to-do list before we’ve finished the first one, we’ve filled our brain with new thoughts, rather than being able to soak in all of the good that’s coming from our work. I can say now that I believe a day gains value when it contains depth, meaning, and connection, not when you check a certain number of items off your to-do list. But I’m not sure I always live that way.
This article coincides with my recent course covering Dr. Tayyab Rashid and Dr. Martin Seligman’s work in their textbook Positive Psychotherapy Clinician Manual. Specifically, the concept of Slowness and Savoring first brought heightened awareness to how to be fully in one moment, before moving on to the next.
In reflecting on this research, there are a few things I’ve started to implement to keep my mind in the present, and soak in all of the joy that these moments present:
Savoring Food: Dr. Tayyab Rashid and Dr. Martin Seligman point out that it might take a bit of practice for our brains to slow back down (think of a cool-down after a running a big race…and our brains have been running a sprint for a while!) Picking small moments in life to practice Savoring can help build up that brain pattern, and food is a great place to do just that!
Recognizing when the mind is wandering: Yesterday while riding the Peloton, I noticed how my legs weren’t the only thing moving pretty fast. In between watching the instructor, checking the leader board and frantically looking at how many minutes were left on the clock, I was thinking about all of the things I had to do off the bike too. I’m learning to recognize when my mind is doing so many things at once. In that moment, I brought myself back and only focused on following the instructor in the middle of the screen. Focusing on one very specific thing helped bring my awareness back.
Using Our Senses: One of the key ways that we can be present as recommended in Positive Psychotherapy Clinical Manual is engaging all of our senses. I’ve started to realize all of the moments in life we are missing out on, like walking the dog. Instead of just letting my mind wander, I’ve started to smell the air (hard through a mask!), how does the air feel on my skin? What does the light look like? Finding little ways to engage our bodies fully helps keep our mind focused there too.
Be Ok with Stepping Away: Last evening I was feeling it. I wasn’t sure the day was as productive as I had hoped, (and truthfully I’ve been struggling with how people have been or rather haven’t been responding to the Coronovirus in my sphere.) So last night, I recognized I needed to fill my bucket, and it wasn’t going to come from scrolling Instagram, checking the status of the potential hurricanes coming toward Houston, or continuing to send emails. I closed the computer, fully put it away, and set my phone in the other room. The rest of the evening was spent reading the paper curled up with my husband and dog. Something so joyful yet I would have missed out on.
I continued this practice in the morning too. One of my favorite tips I learned from Garance Dore is to wait for the phone or Instagram until after coffee. While I’m not always perfect at it, I’ve begun to ask myself “is this something that would bring joy, or an unintentional habit?” This morning, I’ve decided to wait to check the weather until after I finish my writing. And I’ve decided to only focus on one task at a time.
As I think of the race we’re all running, I hope the works from these incredible researchers will help us all to slow our legs ever so gradually, and start to see what is all around us. Pick up a copy of TIME Special Edition: The Science of Happiness to read Dr. Seppala’s article (linked to Google Play here or I found mine at Barnes and Noble), and be sure to follow her on Instagram and her Website for so much wonderful information!