10 Questions to Design Your Life
I’ve been excited by how many people have been opting to veer away from new year’s resolutions. (In part because I have personally never found success in going from no gym days to all gym days and actually keeping up with that.) Resolutions seem to bring that idea of our “perfect selves” and a reason to start being just that. If we could only lose ten pounds, if we started waking up at 5 to work out, if we cut out sugar, etc. And all of that seems less connected to ourselves and less likely to see success.
Today I heard it mentioned that we could have an intention or affirmation going into the new year instead, and I liked it. I think we could have this mindset with each new day…to think about what we are bringing into it, what we are hoping to get out of it, and what mark we hope to leave on the world, ourselves, and our people that day.
So rather than a guide to setting the perfect goal or a workout routine, I am sharing an interactive guide just for you. This will help get down on paper and out of our heads who you are, your skills, values, likes and dislikes to help you start 2020 with a clear and confident mind. I can personally attest that this not only helped give me a clear mind and heart with myself, but it also lead me to accomplishing those goals we think of during the new year, all in a way that is authentic, connected to myself, and sustainable.
Instructions: Print the guide and handwrite, or open in a program to type in your reflections. You can also simply think about these questions, or even doodle! I’ve included written instructions for what you can think of to help apply each of these questions into your day.
1. Hi! My name is_______________________________
2. 5 Characteristics that describe me:
(Think of these like your own personal strengths or values. If you need help, this list is great!)
3. A thing I do that gives me energy, feels natural, or makes my eyes light up:
(We are talking about being in flow! Check out Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s Ted Talk explaining flow here. This is most likely something that is using one of your strengths or pulling on your personality that just comes naturally. It could be working in an Excel spreadsheet, to painting, to teaching a yoga class, or cleaning just to name a few!
4. How often do you make time to do what gives you energy?
Consider if there are any ways that you can incorporate these activities more often. Often when people are in flow, they are not only feeling happy, but they are also doing great things/work!
5. What drains your energy?
Reflect on how often you are doing things that drain your energy, and if there is anyway to change that. If your job leaves you depleated, could you be in a role that isn’t quite right for you? Are there relationships that you need to set better boundaries in?
6. What is one thing you are proud of?
Why are you proud of this? What does it say about you? Are there ways you can replicate that feeling or activity?
7. What is something or someone that brings you joy?
I know that spending time with my husband brings me joy, so I make that a priority. I also had a feeling in my heart that I really need a dog in our life. Mia has since brought us such immense joy. What is one thing or person that you can count on to be a source of joy?
8. What is one new thing that you’ve wanted to start?
Have you tried to pick up a new hobby but it didn’t quite stick? Sometimes doing something new takes time for our brain to get into a groove. The first time I went to yoga, my mind was racing and my body sure couldn’t move like that. It took continually going over time to stretch both my mind and my body to make it feel like more of a habit/something I was used to. I’m now doing the same thing with reading the news daily..something I’d like to be better at but don’t currently have a habit formed. Getting this blog off the ground was another one!
9. What would you like to have in each day?
There can be little things in each day that we can help to set this positive boundary for ourselves. Of course, it may not happen all of the time and that’s ok! But setting an intention of things we’d like in an ideal day helps set us on the right track. For example, I’d like to have early mornings, time with Will, and the ability to do something creative. What would your ideal day have? How can you set yourself up to achieve that? For example, I’ve prioritized going to bed earlier because I know how much mornings mean to me.
10. What is/are a dream or idea that feels a ways off, or that you haven’t started yet?
Sometimes things can feel so far away that we hardly give them any thought. But whether it’s something we could actually be doing today, or is in fact years away, most often there is something we can be doing today to lead us toward these big dreams. Whether it is buying a house and having kids, or being a best selling author, there are things we can do right now that set us up for these major life dreams. It makes it more motivating and exciting for me to opt for coffee at home when I know it’s leading toward a house in the future. I also know that while it might not be today that I’m on the Best Seller list (dreams!!), I can choose to write a little bit today to set myself on that path.
I use these questions all the time personally and in my work! I look forward to the reflections that you come up with. And of course, I will continue to share resources on what you can do from here to put some of these reflections into action day to day.
And if its January before we chat again, I wish you the very happiest of new years and as my meditation class said today, I wish for you to feel happiness and peace. All my love.