Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays! 5 Tips for an Inclusive Holiday
Imagine for a moment that as you grab your morning coffee, walk out of your office for the holiday break, or see friends one last time before heading home, everyone is wishing you a Happy Hanukkah. You see menorahs in the windowsills of stores and sometimes in our schools and workplaces, and everything is covered in blue and silver. But you so happen to celebrate Christmas.
Now, just as my friends who celebrate Hanukkah shared, we assume that no one (or at least most don’t) mean poorly when they share a Merry ___ that doesn’t happen to line up with the holiday that you celebrate. They are typically wishing a joyous holiday season and to quote my friend, we can gladly accept any well wishes that come our way! But as friends, neighbors, colleagues, business owners, and community members, how can we use our well wishes to make everyone feel included, rather than other.
I am reminded of a wonderful speaker that was at one of my prior companies. He walked into the room and greeted a room of differing genders with “Hi Ladies.” You better believe it got people’s attention, just like (I hope) my opening statement got you thinking. He went on to discuss how often we address groups of people with “you guys” and don’t give it a second thought. Again, people may not intend for that to be un-inclusive of everyone and is just a phrase we use, just like when we might say Merry Christmas without a second glance. But sometimes it is incredibly important to pause and think about the words that we use, and how that might put entire groups of people into a position that doesn’t make space for them at the table. In fact, just by asking a few questions, I believe we can share our own beliefs, while having our words line up with our well wishes for others too.
So what can you do during the holiday season to both stay true to yourself and the holiday that you celebrate (because you absolutely don’t have to change that!!) but also acknowledge the different and very diverse groups of people that are around us everyday? (Remember, we don’t always see this difference…sometimes it’s those of us with the privilege to have many people around us who share a common identity who need to make space for others to feel comfortable to share those differences too!)
Tips to Be Inclusive During the Holiday Season:
Be aware when interacting with children: My friends who don’t celebrate Christmas expressed that childhood is the hardest time. When seeing other children asking for/receiving gifts from Santa, or being asked what is on their wish list, it can be very confusing. Let alone, think of what that says to a child when we say “oh everyone else is doing this big exciting thing!”
When working with or interacting with children, I’ve been conscious to ask “are you celebrating a holiday soon in your house?” or for younger kids that might not make sense you could ask “does Santa come to your house or no?” I was also so encouraged when I saw a teacher reading a Hanukkah book to their class alongside a Christmas book. Let’s make space for all kids in our communities, and when we are interacting with them ourselves.
Ask If They Celebrate a Holiday This Season: Let’s take a moment to get to know people who you are wishing well! It could be as simple as when you are checking out at a store or grabbing water in your office to say “Are you celebrating a holiday this season? (and oh! Which one if you don’t mind sharing…if they don’t offer it.)”
Its ok to share your holiday and theirs: I struggled with this one, and would be curious to hear your thoughts. I think it’s important to still be able to share what you believe, and if your intent is to truly wish well to someone, we can do that in a way that corresponds with you! If you feel it’s best for you, you could simply say, if their holiday is different than yours “Ah thank you for sharing! Happy/Merrry_____!” and be on your way. I also think that it’s ok to find a way to share what you celebrate if it happens to be different. You could say something like “Well to combine both of our holidays Merry____ and Happy ____!” You can absolutely make that your own, but I do think it’s important to stress that you don’t have to remove parts of yourself, it’s just that you’re also pulling up a seat at the table and making room for others too.
Some Don’t Celebrate the Season: Remember that some may have had a trauma, a hardship, a loss, or some other reason that can make the holidays painful. They may not celebrate at all, and imagine if you saw what appears to be happy people everywhere while you’re in pain. While it might not be your space to offer full support in this situation, you could simply wish them joy during this time of year, express that you are sending a hug, or hope they have a happy new year. Sharing a bit of kindness when someone is struggling can mean the world.
And of course, there’s always Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year: Thinking about how we decorate, what we say and the joy we are hoping to give to all this time of year. You can absolutely go for colors, metallics, lights, and wish all a Very Happy Holiday and a Very Happy New Year.
I would so love to learn about all of your and your holiday traditions! So please do reach out and let me know I’d love to hear. I hope this shared a bit of holiday joy with all of you, and hopefully helped to make space for everyone. And until I personally get to connect with each one of you, from my house to yours, A very happy holiday and a very happy new year <3.