What to do with Those Holiday Feels
When we think of the “holiday feels” you might think of being bundled with a festive drink, warm lights, and being surrounded by people you love. But in reality, what many of us feel, can be quite the opposite. The season is flooded with happy families, an abundance of presents and parties, and connection and warmth. But when one of those things is absent or lacking in our own lives, the season can also feel with a lot of other feelings that aren’t typically plastered on a season’s greetings card.
If I’ve thought enough about these feelings myself, I’m willing to bet that any of the sadness, anxiety, or that big old word jealousy that creeps in around the holidays, isn’t necessarily about the perfectly packaged gift or the party we didn’t get invited to. I’m quite confident that it’s the absence of the joy or feeling that we think comes with these situations that hurts the most.
Maybe there is a strained or distant relationship. Maybe you lost someone dear to you you’d love to share the season with. Maybe there is financial stress. If holidays had any anxiety or stress growing up, our brains very well might remember that and those feelings start to appear for what can feel like no apparent reason. Then there are airports and road rage, and fear of flying, and a million people out and about and there you have it. Lots of things that aren’t quite holly and jolly, but somehow we only seem to talk about and acknowledge those happy seasonal feelings.
In knowing that so many of us have that mix of feelings during the holidays, what can we do to acknowledge them, and build a little joy in too?
List Your Top Wishes for the Holiday: When Will and I have been traveling to see our families, we talk beforehand about some of the things we’d both really like to do. We also discuss if there’s times that we might like to have time just the two of us to reset. This helps us take ownership in our days, trips, and ultimately our feelings too. Whether at home or with others, give your holiday experience wish list a try.
Cook: Will and I love to host, but it’s not feasible for our families to all gather at our snug little apartment this year. We are bringing paella to cook and share wine with our family for one night instead! Something like cooking helps you feel in your own element, while taking the load off of your host too! What’s your thing that you just love to do? How can you share that with others or even just yourself this holiday? You can also do this on your own at home for a favorite day!
DANCE!: No matter the mood, you put on some good music, especially while traveling and my mood lifts within five minutes. We’ve got a 12-hour drive ahead of us, so you better believe some singing and dancing in the car will be a requirement. And to help you with wherever you are or wherever you’re going, I’ve put some of my happiest danciest tunes together in a playlist. Click here to listen for yourself and happy listening. Warning: It’s all over the place but I love it. I hope you enjoy too :).
List it Out: when lack or loneliness takes over, listing the things and people we do have can help us refocus our brain. Remember that no matter how long or short that list is, having even one person or one thing that is going well in our life is an incredible thing. And if nothing comes to mind right now, there are absolutely people out there with open hearts and minds who would love to be on that list…sometimes it just takes a long time for us to find one another, but I’d be happy to have you on mine!
And finally, remember all of the wonderful qualities and personality that you have as an individual. No matter where you go, what you do, or who you are with, you will always have those things with you, and I think that’s pretty cool. When you focus on that, and less on the people or stressors around you, I’ve found I’m happier, and the situation itself ends up being happier too.
Wherever the season finds you, I wish you joy, and hope the tips and playlist above can help bring a little to you too. And if you need a virtual hug, just send me a message and I’ll send some love your way!