The Story of Mia

Taken from my Journal on her first birthday, May 15, 2020

Mia turns 1! My heart has been feeling so full just thinking about how she came into our lives. After months of deeply feeling in my heart the need to care for and love an animal, I’m not sure what it was about that Friday back in June that had me so confidently say “today is the day”. At the time, I thought I might come home with a $5 cat (the deal at the local shelter). We’d explored a bunny option weeks or months eariler. I think we knew it was all a bandaid for the dog we wanted but told ourselves “a little more us time” first.

So when Igot the email from BARC Foster that she had a 5 week old puppy who needed a home that day, I felt the jitters come on. I was already on the campus that Friday afternoon in June, determined to find a friend that day. I had been looking in the dog house on my way to the cats when her email arrived. I began a walk of confidence and anticipation as I searched for the foster office.

In I walked, and there she was, snugged in the back of her cage. I remember feeling so good about this. I believed in our decision to wait a while longer before bringing a dog of our own into our home. I was excited to love on this baby dog, who didn’t quite fit the description of wha we’d thought our future dog would be. The perfect solution…give her needed love and a home, fill our hearts a little too, and she’ll be on her way to her long term home, making it easier to say our goodbyes.

her first weekend home. exhausted and happy.

We agreed on 2 weeks, as we were leaving for Connecticut the following day. I’d told the foster coordinator all of my thoughts mentioned above, and I always wonder if she knew what she was doing. I happened to see her in the grocery store awhile back, and thanked over the salad bar for bringing Mia to us, while oohing over photos together.

I called Will (whom I had been texting with all day and receiving replies like “do what you need to do”) and told him to come see. He said he didn’t need to come and trusted me. So in Mia went to her pet taxi box, and off we went.

Over those 2 weeks, we became a little family of three. We (me) slept on the floor next to her when she’d cry in the night. I panic googled at 3 in the morning when she woke up with tapeworms. We went for rides in the car, we snuggled on the couch, and I made her a daisy bandana.

As many guessed, our love quickly grew. Will was much better at sticking to the plan. Sunday nights (not sure why?) always found me in a puddle of tears in the shower. How empty it would feel when that silent, wiggly, fluff wouldn’t be there when I got out. How scared she must be sitting in a cage alone without her mama and dada next to her. I was thinking what it must be like for her to be lost from her dog mama and litter so young. My grandad said that we had become her “mama”. My heart shattered. And I believed it.

The Friday came when it was time for her to go. It felt like the right decision. But it didn’t make it less heart breaking. We sat in a long line of cars. I signed forms. And then we pulled up, rolled down the window and a woman said “I’m here for your baby” and whisked her out of my arms. I’m crying writing this (and again while typing it) because I’ve never felt a pain quite like that. I felt my body collapse, and I cried one of the heaviest, saddest cries I’ve ever felt. It felt like the world knew too. As we pulled out, the loudest clap of thunder broke, and it began to pour.

We were stopped by a train rolling through, and as it poured and hailed, we sat for 20 minutes, and I cried, and Will held me.

We got home, and it was the forgotten blueberry on the floor, her favorite. A piece of food, her empty house, that lonely step out of the shower. I cried on the plane the next morning watching videos of her little squeeky yawn when she was excited. I had tears off and on for that week away. I discovered she was picked up by a Boston rescue, and felt happy feeling like we shared her new home in common. An article about dogs moving around the country for rescues was featured in the Times that Sunday. The photo was from Houston. I was confident it was her.

I got in touch with the rescue eventually, and learned she was still in Houston waiting for her journey North. About 2 weeks had passed since we said goodbye, and I made posed the question I knew might be hard. Could I see her? And then the message that would change our lives.

The foster home needed all of the dogs out that day. Could we help? I said we could take Mia, they said yes. I called Kenna who was planning on dinner together and Will was rarely out of town for the night. She agreed to Jimmy Johns on the road as we went to bring Mia home. I called my Grammy, she cried and said “oh Mia is coming home! You know she won’t be leaving.” I felt that too, but apparently a home was lined up in Boston, and she just needed a short home for a few weeks. My heart was still hopeful.

We got her home, had a much needed bath, and Will agreed to let her sleep in the bed. She slept through the night for the first time. Everything felt warm and whole.

A few days in we knew Mia was home. People said that if you really asked the rescue they would probably let her stay. It was time for Will and I to have a big chat. Will loves dogs, and was so good to Mia. He had visions of a larger dog in mind, and he’s also really good at stickin to those ideas. But he agreed if she could stay she should. I have heard him say that seeing me with her he didn’t have a choice. That selflessness could make me cry all over again. He told me to text the rescue.

I read the response, looked at Will, and he said “what?” And from my blank face a sob broke out as I said she couldn’t stay. Will scooped me right up, and said we could make plans to ahve another dog soon after she left. They said she was promised to another family and it would look bad on the rescue. Unless anything changed or they failed the home inspection, she was to to to Boston.

We spent days researching, and found an English Cocker Spaniel in Alabama we could drive to the day after sweet Mia made her journey. It sounded pretty perfect, as I was doing everything to protect myself from that pain all over again.

And so it was settled, we’d made up our mind, and were just exploring the best way to get this new pupper before we officially said yes. And mid-texting about these details, I got a text.

“Tayler can you please call when you have a chance?”

and then it followed with

“They failed the home inspection. You can keep her!”

I about fell out of my chair. HOW was this happening! But as things do, I, as well as Will, and begun to shift our brain, to realize keeping Mia wasn’t a reality, to drawing (or trying to) a new future with this other dog. I felt guilty. Would Will want the other dog more? Should Mia be with my Grammy and Grandad? We’d been through so many ups and downs and I had brought her home those weeks back on a whim. Was it fair to bring a new little friend into our family of 2 like this?

I’ve learned that some things aren’t perfectly planned. Will agreed she should most certainly stay. I clicked order on her Boston Bruins jersey the day we signed the contract. We’ve talked a lot about it, as we think is important with all things. It may not have been a seamless process of the two of us dreamily going to pick up our puppy together. But I listen to this story and it makes me tear up all over again how clear it was that Mia was meant to be a part of our family.

You ask Will now if he’d change having a dog or want it to be different and he says no. It’s Mia. Watching those two fall in love with each other has been one of the greatest gifts. out of the blue at dinner in Houston my Gramy looked at Will and said “We’ve always loved you. Seeing you with Mia, dogs tell you a lot about a person, and seeing how good you are to Mia and Tayler makes us love you even more.” She had tears in her eyes, and was one of the most vulnerable and true things I’ve ever heard her say. I’ll hold it with me forever and I couldn’t agree more.

Mia has brought a joy that shows you the happiness that can be found in everyday moments you may not have seen. Her personality is the perfect mix of quirky, curious, and a good bit of confident fiest. Oh does she make us laugh. She’s brought us the joy of early morning, of family walks, and needing to be included when we hug or dance.

I wrote this the other day and I think it sums it up perfectly:

“To be your mama has filled me with

a peace, identity, and everyday joy I’d never known.

I absolutely believe in a dog’s ability to reach all corners of our hearts.”