Sunshine with Jeni's Ice Cream

My. Heart!!! I love ice cream, I love mental health, and I love Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream. Yesterday Jeni’s released Sunshine following an inspiring conversation Jeni and I shared over kolaches in January…talk about feeling full of sunshine.

I paused to reflect on all the feelings coming up around the success of this little pint of sunshine, of conversations around stigma, of changing the conversation. And realized that yesterday I experienced a bit of what it means to find sunshine on a cloudy day.

It so happens that I had been feeling a bit disconnected from myself the past few days. My mind has been racing, that need to do more and be more was the fuel, and comparison and not so friendly self talk were sneaking in like a pesky cold you just can’t shake. If you’ve ever felt “the timeline” sneak up on you and the panic that follows you know what I mean…how are we possibly going to purchase a home in a place we like after me going to grad school, and how do I continue to build my business, and do we travel, and do we afford/have enough time to hopefully have children…*que long hours spent on Zillow and plotting a return to Boston.

So on Monday, coffee in hand on the porch, I decided it was a break from the phone kind of day, and a time to reconnect with myself (not knowing that the launch would be taking place just yet!). I grabbed my 24 pack of fresh Crayola’s, and I doodled. I explored what really makes me happy, and in a sense, what I can fill my days with.

When I paused to look at what I had drawn, it jumped out as something I had always known but now became so apparent. I derive so much joy from the sun, from light, from my ability to be outside, from things blooming and growing. But I quickly reflected that while I can prioritize a location with sun or warmer climates, there will always be cloudy days.

Sometimes these clouds move in for the day or maybe the winter. Sometimes, even when the sun is shining, a cloud has settled into our mind. So when our natural sun might not be found, what can we do?

Without thinking, I grabbed my pen and wrote “what happens on cloudy days”.

And almost matter-of-factly I found myself writing “you create warmth”, as I looked at my doodle of a lamp, of a cup of warm coffee in my favorite mug, of a hearty dish in the dutch oven.

“You bring color” next to a rainbow, where I explored my love for bright pops of color in clothing, in our green velvet couch that is the center of our home. In the brightness you can feel in someone’s eyes.

“You feel” next to the waves. Because I also believe acknowledging our clouds, exploring them, sitting in them, even if for a little while, takes bravery. And I don’t think we can fully create light if we aren’t also willing to feel that dark.

And finally “grow something” near some flowers. Because I believe (and research has supported) the power in being with plants. But I was also thinking of something bigger. Of using those gray days to cultivate something within us that allows us to bloom.

I finished my drawing, and felt peace knowing how to feel my sunshine, and create some of it when needed too. I walked back inside to research ice cream recipes, becausing sharing food and drink and being in the kitchen is sunshine to me. (and our machine was arriving yesterday!) And that is when I stumbled on the most beautiful and thoughtful note from Jeni’s announcing the launch of Sunshine.

Filled with happy tears, I began to watch as the launch day unfolded, as Jeni spoke the poetry that is her description of this flavor, and as thousands joined the conversation.

Seeing that striking and mysterious gray that symbolizes so much, while tasting that bright spring flavor was surreal.

Through one beautiful cone, we are allowing everyone to experience everyday mental health, the reminder that we can all feel those clouds. But so too can our sun emerge and shine.